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What kind of a mother are you?
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After teaching high school for 14 years, I have encountered many different types of moms. It never ceases to amaze me the lengths a mother has gone to get benefits for their child. I thought it would be fun to come up with some different classifications for moms.
*The Invasive mom — makes it a point to know and control everything going in their child’s life. They become so invasive — their child must sneak around and hide a lot from them.
*The Smothering mom — constantly keeps them close. Their children are unable to grow into an autonomous person, and tend to be very insecure and quiet.
*The Invisible mom — always running off and doing her own thing. With an absent mom, a child tends to become more boisterous and frequently get into trouble. Often, they’ll do anything for attention.
*The Excuse mom — make excuses for their child’s faults and deficiencies. A child with this type of mom has difficulty accepting responsibility and has the tendency to make their own excuses or lie.
*The Cool mom — determined to be their child’s friend rather than their mother. This child is usually is not grounded and searches for that stability and maternal figure in their lives.
*The Balanced mom — knows how and when to ease off on the umbilical cord, encourages their child to take ownership and responsibility for their own actions, builds their confidence, yet doesn’t inflate their ego, and accepts them for who they are as an individual. These children are most adjusted, happy, and productive.
Of course, some moms are a combination of two or more of these classifications.
Over the years, I have some odd experiences with moms during parent-teacher conferences. These conferences are done so early in the year; I have not truly had a chance to get to know their child or the mother… Sadly, I have heard mothers refer to their children as stupid, lazy or useless. Others go into defensive mode and attack and blame their previous teacher. Or some fabricate complete lies about their child’s abilities and past performances. And then there are the ones they are truly need to meet and that don’t show up at all.
I am a mother, and I strive to be that balanced mom. Yes, I admit I have the tendency to be that smothering mom too. But I constantly try to keep myself in check. My daughter is 17 going on 18 — ready to go to college in the fall and received partial academic and athletic scholarships. Although I notice she fear change, I also recognize the beautiful and confidant young woman she has become.
In Driving in Cars with Boys, actress Drew Barrymore asked about motherhood, “When is this job ever going to end?” And I say, never — and that makes me smile. My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just want to make sure that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to her.